"Husbands and wives are designed to complement each other. When the man is weak, his wife is strong; when she stumbles, he is there to pick her up. Life is easier when two hearts and minds are committed to working together to face the challenges of the day." - Gary Chapman
In light of Zac and I's first wedding anniversary, I wanted to write down some of things that I have learned this past year.
One of the most important things I've learned is that it is okay to have fun. If you know me, I tend to take things very seriously and put a lot of unnecessary presssure on myself for everything to go perfectly. There is a lot of conflict that my husband and I could have avoided if we didn't take certain things too seriously. You have to pick and choose your battles - don't argue about the small and silly things that don't actually matter. The disunity that it creates truly isn't worth. This is something I am learning and working on every day. Thankfully, I married someone who loves to make people laugh and knows how important it is to have fun!
Always assume the best.
Because of our sinful nature, it is natural to assume the worst in other people or situations. You must fight your pride and desire to be right when it comes to assuming the best in your spouse instead of the worst. We should never make negative assumptions until we have heard the whole story. I quickly found that times when I assumed the worst in my husband, it was over a simple misunderstanding. He thinks differently than I do, so just because he did something differently or left something out, doesn't mean he was in the wrong or out to hurt me. We must take the time to listen to the other side of the story. When something happens that you don't like or appreciate, remember to seek to understand instead of trying to be understood.
Give grace (& lots of it).
In relationships, you must give grace to your significant other as well as to yourself.
How can I hold my husbands imperfections against him when God hasn't held mine against me? How can I harden my heart towards my husband when God has so willingly sought me despite my offenses against him? I can't.
No one is perfect and we all make mistakes. We all sin and fall short. You and your spouse are no different. Healthy realtionships bring up the ugliest and messiest parts of you. Unhealed trama and insecurities you didn't even know you had arise, bringing a lot of brokeness to light. God gives you grace for each moment of the day, give your spouse grace too.
Healthy relationships require humilty.
Pride causes us to see ourselves as supreme, it is self-sovereign and self-seeking. It will consume you and everyone in it's path. Humility helps couples to thrive because it naturally creates mutual respect. In a relationship, we are able to maintain soft hearts towards one another because we're both sinners saved by God's grace! Even though we are different, we are both of equal value, worth, and importance in God's eyes and in the marriage relationship.
When we got married, God began molding and shaping us to become One for His purpose. He won't allow us to stay in the same place we were before. This year has been a year of refinement. The process, at times, has been more painful than I care to admit. We haven't always listened to the Lord's leading, but we keep getting back up and trying again. We're far from perfect, but God is teaching us as we go. I can't wait to see where he leads us in the year ahead!
Happy Anniversary, Zachary Austin! I'm so blessed to be your wife!